Thursday, June 3, 2010

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

I am very grateful for this saying. I learned it in the safe rooms of AA/Alanon. Who would have thought that something I thought would be so devasting - my husband's alcoholism/drug addiction (I am proud to say his is sober today and I love him so much) - would bring me wonderful gifts. I find the slogans are helping me through this time with my dad.

One day at a time - each day I wake up and say a prayer that we have another day together. Altough he lives an hour and a half away from me, I can still talk to him. Actually, I can tell in his voice if it is good or bad day - he can't hide it any more.

Let go and let God - At first I was very mad at God for what he has done to my dad. I kept asking, why God? Why are you doing this to him and our family? I now realize I just need to turn my dad over to God and know that whatever he has planned for him is what is meant to be. This is all easier said than done, but it is a must!

First things first - I can't worry about what needs to happen months from now. I need to focus on today - keep the priorities in order. PRIORITIES - wow - that is a hard one for me. I am a mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, employee, volunteer, etc. and I feel like I let people down if they are not my priority. What I realize is that I am my number 1 priority and if I keep myself in order, everything else is easier to work with.

I am grateful for today and will call my dad once I am done typing. Only 12 days till his next appointmnet at Mayo. I began preparing a binder with all my notes from all the appts. It is helping me keep everything in order. I also have my ongoing questions to it, so I don't forget to ask anything. I am going to ask a few hard questions this next time - God help me be strong for the answers.

Thanks for listening :)

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